that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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