There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
