Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
