i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
