Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Randomize
