You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
