you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
We just shotgunned beers for America
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
