just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I enjoy the company of your penis
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
