maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
