I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
