'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Life is so much better after having sex.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
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