10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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