You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize