This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize