I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize