Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
