70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
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