My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Randomize
