I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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