well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
