That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Randomize
