You don't have asthma, your pregnant
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
