At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
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