I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
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She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
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