He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Randomize
