So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
