He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
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I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
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You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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