So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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