Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I would fuck him just for his dog
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
