friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Randomize
