My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
