We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
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