I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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