If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
