You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
