His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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