my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize