I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
