I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
