Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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