Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
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Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
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The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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