Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
