Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
