I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize