thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I am never drinking with the goths again.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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