Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Sorry about my life...
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize