gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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