im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
