Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
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Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
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She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
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