ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
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