I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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