I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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